Name: Cornelius Thistleford *Updated - 03/27/03*

Original Author: DietWaterCzar (Garran – Talking Rent-A-Zilla, VorpalBlade – Rent-A-Zilla)

NPC Type: Author Owned

Author Attachment Level

First appeared: The Church of Miho Bulletin - part 1

Basic gist: Aristocratic Rent-A-Zilla. Giant lizard with a soft spot for Kimiko, distaste of the unrefined, and a love for his work.

Alias/Real name(s): Corney, Corndawg, Barney/Cornelius Thistleford

Physical Description: Giant Lizard. More than 200 feet tall and 25,000 tons Cornelius is not hard to miss.

Characterization: Embracing his aristocratic heritage he tends to be overly verbose and rather haughty. He does have a certain level of respect for the heroes of MegaTokyo though he still views most of them as silly. Non-militant Kimiko fanboy, DietWaterCzar hater, and loyal employee of Rent-A-Monster Inc. When on the job he is feral and lumbering, when off duty he is refined and… uhhhh… graceful… kinda.

Resources/Abilities/Powers: Being a Zilla, Cornelius possesses great strength to go along with his immense size. He can breath radioactive fire, stomp on stuff, and knock down buildings with a swipe of his tail, all the things you’d expect a giant monster to be able to do.

Also since he is an Old School Giant Monster/Kaiju he is immortal and cannot be killed by anyone other than another Monster. This does not mean that he is invincible however; it is quite possible to blow him up, dice him to bits, or burn him to a crisp. He will simply not be killed and recover from the damage.

Cornelius is also an employee of Rent-A-Monster Inc. This company offers the services of a Giant Monster for demolition purposes. Rent-A-Monsters are NOT mercenaries and they will not take place in any faction conflicts. When on the job a Rent-A-Monster is required to act as a rampaging beast and not allowed to talk. Rent-A-Monsters are also paid in pork rinds though most of them barter some of their pay for currency and, in Cornelius’s case, caviar.

History to Date: Cornelius made his first appearance as the Rent-A-Zilla that VorpalBlade employed to stop the adventurers. At this point he was fully engrossed in his work and acted as the raging beast that was a rule for his job. The group stopped Cornelius’s rampage by distracting him with a pile of pork rinds and taking that opportunity to use him as a ride.

As the group rode Cornelius to the Sega Building Cornelius got side tracked again by a silo of soy. When Garran accidentally fell into the silo, he lamented on not being able to help Kimiko and Cornelius heard this. This prompted the fanboy in him and Cornelius spoke up in concern for Kimiko. This also prompted Cornelius’s first banter with DietWaterCzar. Cornelius apparently had some monstrous connections that allowed him to know that DietWaterCzar was the demonic creature of the Great Fanboy War and as such did not savor the prospect of associating with him. This meeting saw the first of many insult-throwing sessions between the two.

After an unfortunate incident involving flames and the gastrointestinal result of eating soy Cornelius and his passengers were thrown right to the front door of the Sega building. Seeing the group arrive so soon prompted Dom to try and escape, but he did not count on Cornelius intervening and grabbing is means of escape. After Dom teleport back to his building, he erected a giant steel box around Sega to stop the group from gaining access. Cornelius remedied this problem with his immense strength and bent the box open for the heroes.

For the most part Cornelius didn’t do much after the group went inside other than stomp a few remaining Sega troops outside, that is until DietWaterCzar transformed. During the battle on top of the Sega Building Cornelius decided to climb up to provide assistance in battle as well as provide a commentary on the horrible contributions of G.Kaiser. Cornelius was not much help however as he was promptly thrown back down by the demonic DietWaterCzar. Cornelius got his revenge though after the battle was won by flicking the battered human form of DietWaterCzar into a wall.

Around the time that the werewolves started making more of a presence Cornelius provided transport for Kimiko, Erika, and DietWaterCzar to a vacation island under the assumption that he would be able to join them. Unfortunately, that was a lie told by DietWaterCzar to torment the lizard and Cornelius returned to MegaTokyo quickly and in an agitated mood. To ease his agitation Cornelius went to the Monster’s bar for a drink with his younger brother Thaddeus Thistleford. After a brief conversation with his brother Cornelius was about to retire for the night when he saw an Eva traveling somewhere with some of the group from the incident at the Sega building, including BGMaster, Derian Hatcheter, and Wizard of Kitty. He decided to investigate the matter and became a player in the fight against WolfDead.

Upon reaching a small cabin in Urufu Forest Cornelius was greeted both by Derian Hatcheter and by the shell of Mikey the Gamera smacking him in the head. Mikey was being manipulated by WolfDead to attack the heroes and Mikey hit Cornelius first to get him out of the way. When Cornelius regained consciousness he found that his brother had joined him and Mikey had been temporarily defeated with the temporary sacrifice of Spacy Ricochet the werewolf/kitsune. Mikey returned very quickly with new weapons but was quickly defeated by the combined efforts of the Zilla brothers. WolfDead then made his first public appearance and provided a show of power kidnapping Goddess Neko, nullifying powers, and slicing Mikey into cubes.

Cornelius noted that since Mikey was able to reform when WolfDead left, the villains’ powers must have a limited range. Cornelius and the other monsters decided to go on their own investigation where they fought some mecha but didn’t really get anything accomplished. They decided to look for the group again and after a stop at a decimated Sony Complex they spotted the group in the distance. Prior to getting there though Cornelius and his compatriots were sidetracked by a swerving Sega van that was leaking skittles. It turned out that Wizard of Kitty had been abducted and the monsters helped retrieve the nekomancer. When Cornelius brought Wizard of Kitty back to the group he was greatly dismayed by the return of DietWaterCzar. After a small session of insults DietWaterCzar left again and Cornelius helped to stop an assault by BBES&G forces. The monsters then left to take the attackers for a very short visit to jail.

After they getting sidetracked by Mikey picking up a CD the Monsters arrived at WolfDeads’ Tower of Doom just in time to fight his final form. Cornelius was put into an alternate reality like the others and forced to face his worst nightmare. For Cornelius that nightmare was being stuck in the worst rendition of Hamlet ever produced. Fortunately for him WolfDead apparently had never seen or read Hamlet before and cast himself as Polonius and as a result was the first character to die. Cornelius was freed and joined the others as they fought their way out of their own respective nightmares.

Cornelius currently enjoys life as normal in MegaTokyo. Normal for a Rent-A-Zilla anyway.